The Pentagon

I wish I could represent this with one of those nifty five-sided charts with the different ratings like deformed starfish arms but I can't. so here are the five categories I will be using to give you an at-a-glance recommendation for or against a given movie:

Concept: Is the story or movie idea epic in scope? Is it unique? Is it based on a true story that needs to be told? Is it formed from a strong conviction and full of social commentary? Or is it a remake of that old movie based on a book no-one read? Or an obvious money-making ploy cobbled together from tired Hollywood standards. 1 is Beauty Shop (Barbershop already had nothing to recommend it but a few new jokes, then they made a sequel, then they said "let's re-do it with women instead!"). 5 is Memento (I dare you to find another movie anything like it). Movie versions of books will rate low here if they merely use the book as a cheap replacement for a new idea, but will rate high if they acheive the kind of bringing-to-life-of-my-favorite-book that the Lord of the Rings trilogy undeniably did (put away the Tom Bombadill picket signs, the movies did everything that they should have). In case you couldn't tell by my verbose treatment, concept is the category that will really get me interested in seeing a movie or totally turn me off to it. I make a strong judgement based on concept, but I will put it side-by-side with the other categories for your benefit.

Entertainment: Does the movie make you laugh? Does it put you on the edge of your seat with suspense? Are there rampant demonstrations of the latest special effects? Will you clap and cheer and come out feeling like you had a darn good time? Rated 1-5, 1 being a mime act and 5 being Men in Black

Artistry: Often directly at odds with the above category, artistry examines the visual beauty of a film, but also the skillful interplay of themes, symbolism, archetypes, and characters - how literary is the film? Soundtrack is included in this, and occasionally will merit separate mention. 1-5, 1 = Pocahontas, 5 = Titan A.E.

Talent: Great acting, especially from a surprising source, like when pretty-boy Tom Cruise turns in such a chilling performance in Collateral. Amazing music that is memorable even apart from the movie, like John Williams themes in Star Wars or Indiana Jones. Directors who bring us great cinematic moments, from the first time Akira Kurosawa pointed a camera at the sun to the Wachowski Brothers' invention of Bullet Time for the Matrix. Incredible talent often adds that "something more" that makes a movie can't-miss. This category will be a yes or a no, and if it's a yes, it will be explained further in the review.


Moral Presentation: The final category works differently from the rest - a negative score means morally objectionable material, whereas a positive score represents sound morals demonstrated by the film. As a Christian, I judge the content that I take in very carefully - no movie is ever purely entertainment - it is impossible for a director to make a movie without bias or message, and it is impossible to watch a movie without being affected in some way. Some movies affect us more than others, and some affect us in more positive or negative ways. Whether or not you believe in the Bible, you need to know what you're taking in, and watching disturbing movies will affect your mind. Think of this as a better-informed version of the MPAA's rating system for movies. There is leeway for balancing a high score in this category with a high score in all other categories, and I've made that call myself several times, but the ideal would be high scores elsewhere and low scores here. Again a high score here will be explained (as circumspectly as appropriate) in the main body.

C(oncept)
E(ntertainment)
A(rtistry)
T(alent)
M(orals)

Now I'm going to go through all the movies in my DVD cabinet, and several popular ones that I hope you've seen, and rate them, to let you calibrate my views against your own. This will just be a run-through of the pentagonal rating system, not a full review. Enjoy!