A note and partial apology

Spammers found my other blog and it will only be a short while before they infect things here. In order to comment on this blog you will now have to verify that you are a human being and not a computer program by demonstrating that you can recognize a group of random letters visually, something computers can't really do yet.

Sorry for the inconvenience, but having spam comments all over my blog is even more inconvenient for all of us.

Sorry I'm late...

Last week I was too busy packing for my weekend at the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame and I didn't post my recommendation for what movies to go see. For the record, it would've been The Brothers Grimm - which I did catch and which was marvelous.

This weekend I am also late, but I will be recommending at least The Transporter 2 - C:2, E5, A2, M-3/+1, TN. The plot is like swiss cheese - thin and full of holes - but it somehow manages to support a mountain of whipped cream that is the incredible fighting and driving action powered by Jason Statham and his tough jawline.

Let's see what else is out there this weekend...

A Sound of Thunder: C:2, E3, A2, M-0/+2, TN, Go See It? No.

Based on a Ray Bradbury short story about a man who goes back in time on a dinosaur hunting gig and ends up screwing up history - good story, bad adaptation. Probably will get people thinking about the nature of time and that's always a good physics object lesson, but not much else worthwhile here. sorry.

Underclassman: C:1, E2, A1, M-1/+0, TN, Go See It? No.

This should be one of those movies that my readers don't even have to think about anymore - anything that is done in this movie has been done better by Kindergarten Cop, Beverly Hills Cop, anything else ending in "cop" or starring someone funny as a cop. Cop goes undercover in a school. Wow. Whoever thought that one up seriously must've eaten their WHEATIES that morning. What a waste of good film.

Well that's it for this weekend. Next week I start school (as a teacher) - maybe this will put me in touch better with what the "cool kids" are watching. So I can tell you to avoid it.

Friday August 19th movies

This weekend's offerings are:

Red Eye: C3, E3, A3, M-3/+0, TN, Go See It: NO

Wes Craven is a well known director. He made Nightmare on Elm Street. And a whole bunch of other really mediocre horror films. His name makes me shudder at the amount of cliched unoriginality that will appear in his film. He doesn't do anything badly, he just doesn't do anything new or interesting. In a genre that depends so much on surprise, the only thing that surprises me is how often so many movies rely on cliche and do all the things that have come before. Wes Craven is the absolute antithesis of an exception to this rule. So every category gets the average score. Unimpressive.

The 40-Year-Old Virgin: C2, E4, A1, M-3/+0, TY, Go See It: NO

The title gives away all the jokes that were written for this movie, and the idea has been done before - but as a joke within a larger context, never as the whole concept itself. So in a way it's original, but in a way I think it's a bad idea to try and stretch this one joke over the whole movie. Plus it looks like he's magically going to end up with someone by the end of the movie. The difference between giving away all the jokes that were written, and giving away all the funny moments, is Steve Carell. He has an unerring ability to make you laugh. He provides all the talent and entertainment in this movie, unfortunately without redeeming it. Find him in a solid supporting role or a solid cameo, and he's golden. He might even make a great star...just not this time.

Valiant: C3, E4, A2, M-0/+0, TN, Go See It: NO

The word "Disney" is one I generally try to avoid. They have a machine-like ability to crank out the right combination of feel-good underdog success action, humorous characters and situations, and big-budget eye-popping visuals. Still it feels a bit mass-produced. I guess you have to expect that. If your family sees all the Disney movies, definitely don't miss this one. If you're like me and you've hated Disney's recent faire unless it was CG, you'll still like this one. Um but it's a kid's movie that parents will also enjoy. Not one to take a date to, or watch with the guys, or buy to put on your collector's shelf. It really only works in the context of small children. Small children don't read my blog, but maybe people with small children do.

Supercross: C2, E3, A1, M-1/+1, TN, Go See It: NO

What is it about athletics that seems to be such a difficult subject for movies to get right? Is it that they are so intensely real and basic to the nature of humanity that they are impossible to fake convincingly? Is it that they seem so superficially entertaining on their own that Hollywood assumes they can just throw some sports in a pot and a good time will come out? Do they not research the realities of the sport enough to give the recreation any underlying substance? There is just no way that this movie is going to be a good time, because it is a sports movie. Some sports movies have been good, and when they are they are incredible. But this one has all the earmarks of a mediocre, predictable waste of my time.

Slow movie weekend, folks...I was in surgery when Wedding Crashers came out, I'm gonna go find that this weekend. But tonight I'm watching FOOTBALL. Real football.

Two reality checks

The other day, my mother complained that all of our conversational quotations now come from Napoleon Dynamite whereas they used to come from Shakespeare. I tried to come up with some clever Shakespearean retort and I couldn't.

Then last night I watched "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" which is of coursed based on Homer's "The Oddysey" and it made me realize that since I had never read the full Oddysey (although I knew the story quite well), I was missing out on some subtle references - humorous and symbolic.

We should never let the ever-more-modernizing technological presentations of man's great stories overshadow the stories that are closer to the foundation. I watched an interview with George Lucas on the Criterion Collection DVD release of "Hidden Fortress", an Akira Kurosawa movie that noticeably influenced Lucas. In this interview he mentions the theory that there are really only 32 plots in the whole world of literature. And you could make a case for a bigger or smaller number, really, but the point is that so many things, even though they seem original, are just revisions and re-presentations of older material. And this is often not out of any laziness or copycatting on the part of today's movie makers and writers. Sometimes it's blatantly a case of no-talent hacks using someone else's ideas because they can't think of their own. But often, even when one does come up with an original idea, it is still very similar to a previous work. Totally by accident.

There is something to be said for "firsthand sources", or the primacy of the earlier versions of the works - simply because they are less colored by the effects of any earlier work. A remake of an old story will always show the effects of the earlier story, whereas the first instance of said story will be quite foundational and original.

On the other hand, movies reflect our culture, and seeing how Star Wars updates the messages of Hidden Fortress, or how A Fistful of Dollars takes a fresh look at Yojimbo is a great way to see the differences in worldview between the two directors, and between the two time periods and cultures. But we will never recognize these differences without a thorough knowledge of what came before.

I will always endeavour to provide context for the various movies that arise, as much as I can tell. But some things are not always obvious. We'll work on it together.

It's Friday!

Here's my predictions for the movies coming out this weekend:

Four Brothers: C3, E4, A3, M-3/+1, TN, Go See It? YES.

Concept 3 because it looks like a strong remake of "The Sons of Katie Elder" (an old John Wayne flick) - four adopted brothers, two black, two white, come together to investigate and avenge their mother's killing. So partially it's a revenge action flick, which has been done, but it has its unique qualities. Entertainment will be high - I'm guessing a 4. Lots of bullets and one-liners with this crew around. Artistry is likely to be low...but I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt and say that the dark pathos and emotional interaction of the four men from different walks of life will earn it a 3. Morally it'll get a -3 for all the killing and on the plus side...it depends on what lessons these men learn from their experiences. Talent...I'm really strong on Andre Benjamin, so look for him to surprise you in this movie. But probably not to lift it into the annals of cinematic history. So I guess that's a no. But overall, this is the movie to see this weekend.

The Skeleton Key: C4, E4, A3, M-5/+0, TY, Go See It: Yes*

Concept is higher because though it is a haunted house horror flick, I read spoilers about the ending and it is even better than your usual thriller/twist ending. Also the typical scary stuff is done well here - building the suspense with a unique and interesting story, rather than just cheap scares and screams - so high on entertainment for that reason. Artistry I'm going to give it a mediocre score because I honestly have no idea how to rate the artistry of a horror flick - I don't watch enough of them to know the kinds of themes that are dealt with or how they will be presented in this movie. Morally, there is some pretty disturbing stuff in this movie and without spoiling the ending - well let's just say it's not a happy ending. However some of the acting is quite good, especially given comparison to the horror genre in general, so go see it if you like horror movies. I do not, but plenty of folks do and it looks like this will be a good one.

Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo: C1, E3, A1, M-3/+0, TN, Go See It: No

I shouldn't have to explain why no one should see this movie. Despite the funny sex jokes that may or may not be a rehash of the first movie, there is no way there could ever be anything of value in this film. Sorry.

Pretty Persuasion: C4, E4, A3, M-4/+1, TY, Go See It: No

So...teenagers dealing with the pressures of life and love and sexuality has been done before. So has teenagers manipulating adults by feigning ignorance and innocence while hiding cunning and guile. So this movie isn't terribly original, but it puts the concepts together with a fresh pace and style, and it sets out to tackle several of those kind of hushed-up embarassing topics, which means it will offend you while it makes you laugh. So there's the concept and entertainment scores. Apparently the last chunk of the movie resolves this whole little morality tail without the same sarcastic humor, though, becoming a little obvious in message if not in plot, so artistry falls. Morally you're getting into quite a quagmire here with a teenager accusing a teacher of sexual assault whill fully embracing her own sexuality and ability to manipulate. Some talented acting from the young lady, though, but I'm still not gonna watch this one.

That's all for this weekend, folks - I mean ok there are other movies coming out, but I can't hit 'em all! Learning to love my job...we'll see if any of you agree with me (or if I agree with myself) after seeing these films this weekend!

Pardon the mess

So the blog format is not really suited for what I'm trying to do here - this means I will have to reconstruct some things. I will try to keep adding content while I mess with format, so bear with me. Already I have made the rating system more accessible, but I'm trying to structure other things differently, too, so that this site will be more useful to the typical viewer.

In the meantime, I read a great article in Time Magazine today about the acting work of Andre Benjamin, who calls himself Andre 3000 when he sings with Grammy-winning rap duo OutKast. So many rappers have tried to act, and so few of them have been successful. Will Smith is better known as an actor than a rapper, and personally I like his movies way more than his songs. Mos Def has also played a variety of strong roles - most recently I loved him in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. But with few other exceptions, every rapper who has gone into acting (and there have been sooo many of them) has been an absolute waste of space. I don't know why it's such a ubiquitous trend, but it should be clear why it's such a proven waste of time.

So congrats to Andre, who is committed to overturning the stereotypes and the problems rampant with his fellow rapper/actors. Lately he's in Four Brothers. Makes me wanna see it. A little.

Tomorrow we'll take our first preview look at the weekend's movies, and then you can all write in on Monday and tell me if I was wrong!

Calibration, Part 2

Movies "Everyone" has seen, rated:

The Matrix: C5, E5, A5, M-3/+1, TY

Star Wars Episode 4: C4, E4, A3, M-0/+1, TY
Star Wars Episode 5: C4, E5, A4, M-0/+2, TY
Star Wars Episode 6: C4, E5, A4, M-1/+3, TY
Star Wars Episode 1: C3, E3, A2, M-0/+0, TN
Star Wars Episode 2: C3, E2, A2, M-1/+0, TN
Star Wars Episode 3: C4, E4, A2, M-2/+2, TN

Sound of Music: C4, E3, A4, M-0/+3, TY

My rating system doesn't allow much to explain why a movie like Sound of Music is such a good movie. I guess it's a guy-oriented rating system. I should adjust that. Or get a girl to help me. Either way, it's something to think about.


The Godfather: C5, E3, A5, M-4/+0, TY

Men In Black: C4, E5, A2, M-0/+0, TN
Men In Black II: C2, E3, A2, M-0/+0, TN

Spider-Man: C4, E5, A3, M-0/+3, TY
Spider-Man 2: C3, E4, A4, M-0/+3, TY